18. I want to hang a map of the world in my house then I’m gonna put pins into all the locations that I’ve traveled to. But first I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won’t fall down.17. If you go to the grocery store and stand in front of the lunch meat section for too long, you start to get pissed off at turkeys. You see turkey ham, turkey pastrami, turkey bologna -- somebody needs to tell the turkeys, "Man, just be yourself."
16. I’’m against picketing, but I don’’t know how to show it.
15. One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said,"Here’’s a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger. "Here’’s a picture of me when I’’m older." "You son-of-a-bitch! How’’d you pull that off? Lemme see that camera!"
14. Whenever I walk, people try to hand me out fliers, and when someone tries to hand me out a flier, it’’s kinda like they’’re saying, "Here, you throw this away."
Imagine you are in Africa. You have been tied hanging on a tree with a rope anchored on the ground, a candle is slowly burning the rope, and the lion is waiting for you to drop and be his lunch.
Your survival hinges on the rope staying intact, there is no one around to help you. What to do now...
Children writing about the ocean 1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.
(Kelly, age 6)
2) - Oysters’ balls are called pearls.
(Jerry, age 6)
3) - If you are surrounded by ocean you are an island.
( Wayne , age 7)
4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson . She’s not my friend any more.
(Kylie, age 6)
5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head.
(Billy, age 8)
6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs.
(Millie, age 6)
7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn’t blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans.
(William, age 7)
8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really?
(Helen, age 6)
9) - I’m not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write.
(Amy, age 6)
10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers.
(Christopher, age 7)
11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small.
(Kevin, age 6)
12) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won’t do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass.
(Julie, age 7)
13) -The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don’t drown I don’t know.
(Bobby, age 6)
14) -My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn’t know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom.
(James, age 7)
15) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can’t go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.
(Becky age 8)
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